All The Things You Are
by moofspooch1
Summary: This takes place after the events of the show. Our character John is a jazz musician with a troubled past he keeps secret. What happens when he is in the same school that Ryuko attends now? What happens when she first notices his presence in class after a couple months? Will they develop some sort of connection? Maybe love? M for serious adult situations happening later.
1. It Never Entered My Mind

Hey this a new idea I've been toyin around with. Decided to sit down and try to write something out. If it is received well I'll update. At least one or two more chapters in the works. C&C encouraged! Enjoy! 

It's 10:45pm. Almost time to hit the bandstand. John looks out and sees a full house tonight. Not a single seat left in the small club. Tonight is the perfect setting for a jazz performance. The club is dimly lit, drinks on all the tables, smoke fills the air, and two rain-covered windows towards the front show the busy streets of the city. He already feels the sweat seeping through his suit. Not only is he nervous about playing in front of so many people, but the club's AC broke so they have to keep the front door open. He checks on his trumpet one last time. Good response on the valves. Slide triggers run smoothly back and forth. Tuning slide is in the perfect position. It's show time.

John and the rest of the band enter the stage. A round of applause fills the room while the players take their positions. Piano, bass, drums, and trumpet. A classic quartet setting. They open with the standard It Never Entered My Mind, but before the vintage Steinway piano strikes those first slow arpeggios, a thought races through John's mind. That girl he sees at school. The one with the red streak in her hair. He's never once talked to her, hell, he's never once talked in class at all. No one in the school knows about him. He's just drifting through each class, going unnoticed. That's the way he wants it though. Don't want anyone figuring out he has this lifestyle. The only reason he can be out this late is because he has no parents. No siblings. No friends. People noticing him means people asking about the past. Neglect, abuse, death, drug problems…those only scratch the surface. No one needs to know about that. No one ever will. Ryuko pops back into his head. Her face, her smile. He digs her. A smile creeps along John's face while his chest feels even warmer now.

'She's gorgeous, but I'm a nobody. I don't stand a ghost of a chance with her.' He says in his head.

The piano player interrupts John's daydreaming. "Hey, let's start playing some shit, man."

"Oh yea…sorry man. You start us off." John replies.

The piano player's hands smoothly dance across the keys. The simple yet beautiful arpeggios play. John takes one last drag off his cigarette and holds it in the third valve ring. One last deep breath. He closes his eyes and gently plays the first note.

Ryuko has been enjoying herself these last couple months. She finally gets a chance to live a normal life after all that went down at the last academy. She couldn't sleep tonight. Told Mako she's going out for a walk. She makes it pretty far into the heart of the city. Colors of all kinds light up the night sky. Skyscrapers tower over the rest of the city. She passes old looking apartment buildings, roads filled with shops, and huge, complex, business centers. People fill the streets. Unfortunately, she forgot to bring an umbrella.

"Aw shit. Well its just rain anyway. I've had much worse before."

As she walks down the busy sidewalk that guy crept into her head again. She just saw him today in her class. Who was he? He must've been there the whole time but why didn't she notice until now? The guy doesn't say a word. She looked at him but he was distracted gazing out the window. He doesn't seem to fit in with the school setting she thinks. Ryuko feels the same herself. Even though she loves this new school, it's still difficult coming to terms with her not being human. It seems like they at least have that in common.

'I'll talk to him tomorrow, there's something mysterious about him. I need to find out what that is.' She thinks to herself.

It's nearing 11:00. Getting pretty late. Mako might be up worrying. Ryuko decides to turn around and start making the trek back home. Before she can take the first step, she hears something. Something she's never heard before.

"What is that? I've never heard music like this before. There's something…. hauntingly beautiful about it…screw it, Mako can worry for a little longer. I gotta check this out for a bit."

As she approaches the club, the music gets louder. She hears what sounds like a trumpet. But it must have some type of mute in it. The horn sounds muffled and has a certain buzz to it. The trumpet is playing very long and soft tones. No one is playing fast, but with every note the horn player hits, she feels a sharp pulse in her chest. It sounds so sad, it sounds beautiful, it sounds as if they're searching for something. It sounds like everything.

"I need to peak inside."

Ryuko heads into the door. She immediately looks for a seat but none seem to be available.

"Shit…guess I'll just stand by the door here. I don't want to miss this!"

She looks towards the back by the bandstand. A piano player quietly presses many keys down to create very interesting sounding chords. Chords full of color. A standup bass player quietly plucks the strings. She notices there aren't any frets on that thing, and he is playing with his eyes closed.

'Wow these guys really know what they are doing. They seem so invested in it.' She thought.

The drummer is using what looks like brushes. Both are slowly dancing on the snare drum while the hi hat clicks every two beats. She then looks at the trumpet player.

Her eyes widened immediately. Her heart skipped a beat.  
"Holy shit! That's him!" she said under her breath.

'Why would he not tell anyone he's a musician? I guess most kids don't stay out this late anyways, and some clubs may not even let them in. Is he embarrassed to tell people? Is he scared? Does he think he's not good enough?' she thought to herself.

Ryuko studied his face. John's eyes were closed for the entire song. But she noticed something about him. This guy has had a rough history. Not only can his face tell that, but what he's playing right now sounds so sad. She can feel the pain coming out of the horn. She feels a connection with him and the group.

Ryuko stays for the entire song but decides to leave quick after in case John sees her. She opens the door and finds that everyone is asleep, gets into her pajamas, and hops into bed. She gazes up at the ceiling. The melody keeps playing in her head. John's haunting yet beautiful sound kept playing.

"I'm going to talk to him tomorrow for sure. I just want to hear him play again at the least. I gotta be secret about it. He hasn't told anyone and I discovered it by accident. If that's what jazz is, I gotta ask him for some recommendations as well."

With that Ryuko drifts to sleep while she plays the melody of the tune over and over until she finally passes out.


	2. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

5:00am.

The old dusty alarm clock repeats a terrible distorted beep. John slowly brings his hand down to stop the clock and lazily sits up in bed.

"Another night with 2 hours of sleep…Coffee will do the trick."

Now school never starts this early, but he wakes up a couple hours before in order to warm up on his trumpet for the day. John lives in a small studio apartment. Nothing fancy. Just a bed, an old dining table, barebones kitchen, record player and stereo, and his prized possession. A 1976 Fender Rhodes. Every melody or tune in his head gets played and worked out on this electric piano.

It's still dark outside. John doesn't see the need for blinds. According to him, you just need the alarm clock during the week and on weekends the sunlight will naturally get you out of bed. Now before he warms up, he takes some fresh grounds out of the cabinet, and puts it in the coffee machine. Next, he turns on a barely functioning faucet, slowly filling up a jug to then pour into the machine. While the coffee brews, he walks over to put on a record.

"What will it be this time…How about some Coltrane. Let's go with Blue Train this morning."

As the needle hits the record, the horn section introduces a bluesy riff to start the tune off. John practically dances back to the kitchen. He quickly takes a cigarette out of his pack and lights it. While dancing, he throws a pan on the stove and cracks and egg over it. It's not much for breakfast, but he doesn't have much money, and doesn't eat a lot either. After Coltrane's solo is finished, the coffee is done brewing. Lee Morgan's trumpet solo starts off with a swinging blues motif. John starts to sing along, his pitch and rhythm perfect with Lee's. He remembers transcribing this solo for the first time.

"Man that solo was a bitch…but I got some hip licks outta it. Just like Miles said…Lee is one bad motherfucker!"

He chuckles then pours himself a cup of hot coffee, no sugar or cream. Then takes the fried egg and sets it on a plate. Sitting down at the table, John keeps singing along to Lee's solo. Lee was a cocky individual, and it really showed in his playing. But that go getter attitude is something he very much admired.

For some odd reason that girl popped in his head again. He just kept thinking about her sitting in class. Once again, producing a small smirk across his face.

"There's something about her. I can't put my finger on it… Maybe I'll try and talk to her today. I mean I haven't made any friends so far, so one couldn't hurt right?" He then immediately threw his fist down on the table. "Dammit! What the fuck are you thinking John? I told myself there's no letting anyone near me personally! No one needs to know about me… I don't need any more pain in my life."

He then laid down beside the small table, finished his cigarette, and just gazed up at the worn white ceiling.

"Almost fooled myself there…I shouldn't worry to much. I wont give in."

John rises from the floor and cleans his dishes. Pouring another cup of black coffee and sparking another square, he then heads back into his room. He picks up his horn and starts to play long tones to warm the lips up. As he starts his warm up routine, the girl appears in his head again. He tries to move on and get to practicing but he keeps thinking more and more about her. This triggers another thought in his mind-

- **1 year ago** -

John is laying down again, but this time not in his apartment. He is staring at the night sky, but no city lights can be seen. Just the sight of a run down apartment building. Looking around, there's nothing but a city dumpster and garbage cluttering the pavement. A warm breeze flows over his face. He's shaking. Pressing his fingers to his face, he feels the cold liquid.

 _"You crossed the line. Behind on your payments for two fucking weeks. No more jazz, fuckin junkie!"_

He was indeed behind on payments. Doesn't help trying to score when you have no money, but they bought the fake promises for a bit. His jaw is clearly broken, teeth basically gone, and countless bruises and cuts litter his face.

'I've hit rock bottom.' He though to himself, 'How can I go back to playing? I'll need dentures…I need to relearn how to play the horn…how did I let myself go this far? What the fuck is wrong with me? I thought this shit made you better! Bird did it, Coltrane did it, Bill Evans did it, Lee Morgan did it…I thought it made you better. I thought it made you better! I thought it made you better! I thought it ma—'

- **Present day** -

John snaps out of his flashback. The cigarette still burning, but nearing the filter. His eyes feel an immense weight. They burn. He puts his hands to his face, and feels liquid tracing down his cheeks.

"I g-guess that's what happens when smoke gets in…in…in your eyes" he stutters.

Finishing his warm up and taking a shower, John heads to school. He will not be talking to that girl today. He just can't.

"It's for the best if she stays away from me. I'd just be a burden anway."

**Chapter 3 will be a long one with the confrontation happing, so it may take a couple days to a week before I get it up. Hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Blue In Green

_****Chapter 3****_

Ryuko decided to wait until lunch before she would talk to John. She figured it would be best to talk while everyone is distracted eating or talking. Lunchtime comes around and all the students go their separate ways. Ryuko barely made it through making up an excuse as to why she wouldn't be joining Mako.

'Alright, now I can talk to him. How do I start it off?' she asks herself, 'Do I tell him I saw him playing yesterday night? No, that will freak him out a little. But I really wanna tell him how awesome that song was though. I gotta ask him what it was called…Dammit why is this so hard! Screw it, I'll just come up with it as I go. Just need to find him now.'

Ryuko looks at his desk. He's not there. She looks in the corners of the classroom. No sign. A blur appears in her peripheral vision. Something towards the door of the classroom. As she turns her head, she realizes he just walked out.

'Where the hell could he be going? I guess I'll figure out soon.'

She follows him out the door. John walks all the way down the hallway then proceeds to ascend the stairs. Ryuko carefully walks behind him. She doesn't want to get too close, but at the same time she can't loose where he's going. John takes the stairs all the way to the top of the building.

'He must be going to the roof. But why? Nobody is supposed to be up there…Shit, maybe that's why!'

John opens the door to the roof, keeping it slightly ajar so he doesn't get locked out. He reaches the edge, sits down, and pulls his phone out. Ryuko peers through the crack in the door. John started playing Miles Davis's "Blue In Green" on his phone and set it next to him face down. He then proceeds to pull a cigarette out of his pocket along with a lighter. The smoke slowly rises from the cigarette. John just sits staring at the sky from the top of the building.

'Is this all he does every day for lunch? Wait, does he even have a lunch?' Ryuko thinks. She hasn't seen him pull anything out so far.

'Maybe I can give him some of mine…Ah we'll see. I gotta take my chance now.'

The door creeks open, catching John's attention. Panicking, he quickly puts the cig out and pauses the music.

"No keep doing what you're doing, I just wanna talk to you for a bit. Ok?" Ryuko says while holding her hands up as if to show she poses no threat.

John just stared at her for a bit, then lit his cigarette again and put the music back on. He stayed silent for awhile. Ryuko decides to break it.

"Hey I gotta tell you something. I'm sorry for not saying anything to you earlier this year. I didn't even realize you were in my class until recently…Sorry about that. But I saw you play last night. I was taking a walk in the city and heard a jazz group playing in a club. Decided to peep in and then you were at the front of the stage. I just want to say what you guys played was freakin amazing…Really I've never heard anything like it before. It was kick ass! You seem very quiet about it though. Seriously, more people should hear this stuff!" She decided to stop talking to see if John had anything to reply with.

He takes a long drag off his cigarette, looks up in the sky, and blows all the smoke out. He then looks at Ryuko. Reaching in his pocket, he grabs another one, and hands it to her.

"Square?"

"No I don't smoke."

"Suit yourself."

The cigarette is placed back in his pocket. He continues to stare in the sky. Silence. Sounds of wind gusts and chirping birds fill the gap. Ryuko starts feeling uncomfortable.

'What do I do? Should I keep talking? Did I screw up somehow?'

John interrupts her thoughts.

"You wanna sit down?"

"Um…I guess…sure." She replies and slowly walks next to him to take a seat.

They both sit in silence for awhile. Ryuko decides to just listen to what's playing for a bit. "Blue In Green" seems like a slow, sad, but contemplative ballad. The rhythm section sounds like a slow wave passing over the shore. Meanwhile Miles plays with his harmon mute in, creating a sound smooth like velvet. He plays an extremely simple melody with not much movement, complementing the moving chords.

"So um…what song is this?" Ryuko asks.

"Blue In Green by Miles Davis, off the record Kind of Blue. It's a great tune isn't it? Really takes you on a journey… You know, silence is key in jazz."

Ryuko raises a brow and looks at John. He continues.

"One of the best things about jazz is losing yourself to the song. You need to focus on it, and then you get taken on a journey. You don't know where you're going until it happens. Sometimes you just gotta let things sink in. Same goes for playing it too. Some cats like to play all sorts of fast and fancy shit. I'm not saying they're wrong. There's a time and place for that, but sometimes you need to use space in your solos. Let it breathe you know? Miles once said that jazz isn't about the notes you play, it's about the ones you don't play. There's just something magical about silence…"

Ryuko doesn't really know how to respond so she just nods her head in approval. John continues to talk.

"You going to eat? You should get it in while you can."

She pulls her bento box out and opens it. The aroma of fresh food fills John's nose. He really misses having meals like that. It's been too long since he's had a freshly made meal. Usually an egg in the morning works, and then a gas station sandwich or something along those lines is eaten for dinner.

Ryuko notices he hasn't pulled anything out for lunch.

"Did you bring a lunch? If not you can have some of mine. Here take some I don't mind."

John grins, then lights another cigarette. He suddenly switches to a melancholy mood.

"No thanks, I'm not that hungry right now…." A long silence follows. "Now you know you can't tell anyone about this…this jazz thing. You saw me play by accident, that's fine… But please don't try to seek me out. I shouldn't be talking to you about this in the first place…I shouldn't be talking to you…please…after this don't talk to me. You do your thing and let me do my thing ok?"

Ryuko's eyes widen and she puts her food down.

"Why would you say something like that?" she replies, raising her voice.

She looks in John's eyes and sees nothing. His eyes are lifeless. Then they emulate a certain sadness.

"I'm trying to go unnoticed here for a reason okay? You seem like a great person don't get me wrong. You seem wonderful, and beautiful…but…but…J-Just…just fuck off okay?" John replies, shaking a little.

She heard his compliment and her chest felt a little warm, but only for a second. Now Ryuko gets mad. She stands up quickly and glares at him. Her eyes fixated on his.

"What the hell! I come to give you a compliment. I'm trying to be your friend here! This is how you respond?! What the fuck is wrong with you!" she practically yells.

John is silent. Ryuko notices something in his eyes. That sadness again. His eyes start to get red. A glaze appears over them.

"P-please…don't raise your voice…not right now…I-I-I get…weird when people r-raise their voice." He says quietly.

"Oh yea what the hell gives you the right to tell me to stop! You're being a complete asshole! You should be the one apologizing not me!" Ryuko screams.

John is still. Not moving. Not talking. Comatose. Tears trail down his cheeks.

'Oh shit what did I do?' she thinks to herself, 'What's going on with him? Is he crying? Oh my god I think he is!'

John's shaking becomes more pronounced. He hyperventilates. Complete hysteria. In a spur of the moment idea to try and comfort him, she kneels down and grabs his hands. Their faces very close.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Are you with me? C'mon. Snap out of it! I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry! Please I didn't mean to do this okay? I didn't mean to hurt you!"

Without thinking she wraps her arms around John. Ryuko holds him and repeats that everything is ok. The hysteria stops after a minute. John slowly looks into her eyes. They are of bright and full blue color. Ryuko stares back into his. They are of a faded green color. They both stare in silence. A moment that feels like forever. Then John interrupts the silence.

"See? This is who I am. This is who you wanted to meet. This who makes that music…I'm bad news…damaged goods…I'm sorry…but please…stay away from me while you can…please…"

He rises from her arms and walks back to the door. Ryuko stands on the roof. Stunned. Confused. And mad at herself for causing that episode for him.

* * *

For the rest of class Ryuko could not focus on the lesson at all. She stared at the board thinking about the prior confrontation.

'He looked deeply troubled…tormented…What has he been through? Man I can't even imagine…I'm so stupid for yelling like that. I feel terrible…I actually scared him to death. What's wrong with me? Why couldn't I see the signs he was showing? There's just something different about him… He's such a creative person, but man he's complicated as shit…He wants me to stay away though. I don't want to but he seemed pretty damn serious about it… I wanted to hear him play more. I wanted to learn more about the music…' Her brow twitches, 'Dammit! Why did it have to go like that! Why couldn't he have accepted the compliment! Why couldn't I-'

Her stream of consciousness was interrupted by the final bell ending the school day. She stays sitting for a bit until Mako gets her attention.

"Ryuko-chan! C'mon its time to go home! Let's put our books away!"

Ryuko gets up and follows. As they head to their lockers Mako is chatting up a storm. Ryuko does not reply and walks in silence. That conversation on the roof still in her mind. She approaches her locker and sees a note on the front.

"What could that be Ryuko-chan?" Mako asks, "Oh Oh do you have a secret admirer?! Oh my god that's so cute! Have you been keeping him from me? That's no fair! Who is he? Tell me tell me tell me!"

Ryuko blocks out Mako's voice and stares at the note. She pries it off her locker and opens it up:  
 _Ryuko,  
21:00. The Jazz Estate downtown. Tell the bouncer you're with me and you'll get in.  
-John  
P.S. remember the song from earlier was "Blue In Green" by Miles Davis. Look up the record Kind of Blue.  
_  
Ryuko's eyes light up and she smiles.

"So Ryuko what is it?! You gotta tell me!"

"I'm actually meeting up with a new friend tonight, Mako."

Dissapointed, Mako replies, "Oh so it isn't a lover huh…But you made a new friend?! Aw Ryuko that's awesome! Well I hope you have fun! I'm sure it'll be an awesome time! Your friend should come over for dinner one night! A friend of Ryuko's is a friend of mine!"

Ryuko chuckles and walks back home with Mako. Mako is still going on about her day while Ryuko reflects on the conversation with John. She thinks about her outburst, his mental breakdown, and staring into his eyes. She decides to keep silent. While walking, she starts to softly hum the melody from the beginning of Blue In Green.

"What song is that Ryuko-chan? It doesn't sound familiar at all."

"It's a song by Miles Davis—"

"Miles Davis? Never heard of him."

"Me neither until recently. The song is called Blue In Green."

Ryuko continues to hum until they get back. Now she just waits until John's show starts.

 _ ***Hope you enjoyed this one, it was pretty long! Next chapter should be up in the next couple days!***_


End file.
